Questions to Avoid Asking on a First Date

Icebreakers for First Dates

Starting a chat on a first date can be tricky, but picking the right icebreakers can make it a breeze. Dodging bad first date questions is key to keeping things smooth and fun. Here are some easy-going and fun questions to help break the ice and get to know your date better.

Fun Questions

Fun questions are great for kicking off the conversation and setting a relaxed vibe. They’re light, non-intrusive, and can lead to some pretty interesting chats.

• “What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done on a whim?”
• “If you could hop on a plane right now, where would you go and why?”
• “What’s your go-to movie or TV show for a binge session?”
• “Got any secret talents or quirky hobbies?”

These questions can help keep things light and enjoyable. For more tips on making a great first impression, check out our article on first date icebreakers.

Hobbies and Interests

Talking about hobbies and interests is a solid way to find common ground and learn more about each other. It also gives you a peek into their personality and lifestyle.

• “What do you love doing when you have some free time?”
• “Any hobbies or activities you’re super passionate about?”
• “Are you into any sports or fitness routines?”
• “What’s the last book you read or podcast you got hooked on?”

Chatting about hobbies and interests can help you see if you’re on the same wavelength and find things you both enjoy. For more conversation tips, visit our page on first date conversation tips.

Question Type	Examples
Fun Questions	“What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done on a whim?”, “If you could hop on a plane right now, where would you go and why?”
Hobbies and Interests	“What do you love doing when you have some free time?”, “Any hobbies or activities you’re super passionate about?”

By focusing on fun questions and talking about hobbies and interests, you can keep the conversation lively and engaging on your first date. Steer clear of making judgmental comments about your date’s looks, clothes, job, or past to avoid any awkward moments (Verywell Mind). For more advice on what to avoid, see our page on first date preparation.

Steer Clear of These Topics on a First Date

First dates can be a bit nerve-wracking, right? You want to make a good impression without stepping on any conversational landmines. To help you out, here are some topics you should definitely avoid.

Personal Appearance

Complimenting someone is great, but diving into specifics about their looks? Not so much. Comments on clothing, weight, or other physical traits can make things awkward real quick. A simple “You look nice” is fine, but anything more detailed can come off as judgmental. Making judgmental comments about your date’s appearance is a big no-no. Stick to light and positive topics instead.

Past Relationships

Talking about exes on a first date? Hard pass. It can make you seem like you’re not over your past and can make your date uncomfortable. Nobody wants to hear you badmouth your ex. Focus on the here and now—what you enjoy, your hobbies, and your future plans. For more tips on keeping the conversation upbeat, check out our article on first date conversation tips.

Sexual History

Bringing up sexual history on a first date is a surefire way to make things awkward. It’s just too personal for a first meeting and can make the other person uncomfortable. It’s best to save these discussions for later. Stick to neutral topics like hobbies and interests to keep things fun and light.

By steering clear of these sensitive subjects, you’ll create a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere on your first date. For more advice on making a great first impression, check out our guide on first date preparation.

Keep It Positive

First dates can be nerve-wracking, but keeping the vibe upbeat can make it a fun and memorable experience. Here are some tips to keep the conversation flowing smoothly.

Compliments and Flattery

Compliments are a great icebreaker and can make your date feel special. But remember, moderation is key. Too much flattery can feel fake or overwhelming.

Effective Compliments:

• Genuine and specific: “Your smile really brightens up the room.”
• Character observations: “You seem really passionate about your work. That’s inspiring.”

Compliments to Avoid:

• Overly personal: “You have the best body I’ve ever seen.”
• Repetitive and excessive: “You’re amazing, you’re perfect, you’re incredible.”

Want more tips on making a great first impression? Check out our article on first date impression.

Positive Conversation Starters

Starting with a positive topic can ease any initial awkwardness and set a friendly tone. Here are some conversation starters to consider:

Lighthearted Questions:

• “What’s the best vacation you’ve ever had?”
• “Do you have a favorite book or movie?”

Hobbies and Interests:

• “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?”
• “Are there any hobbies you’re passionate about?”

Steer clear of questions that might lead to negative or controversial topics. Avoiding bad first date questions can help keep things light and fun.

For more tips on conversation starters, check out our guide on first date icebreaker.

Conversation Topic	Example Question
Travel	“What’s your dream travel destination?”
Food	“Do you have a favorite type of cuisine?”
Music	“What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?”
Pets	“Do you have any pets? Tell me about them.”

For more advice on first date conversations, visit our article on first date conversation tips.

By focusing on positive and engaging topics, you can help ensure your first date is a hit, setting the stage for a potential second date. For more tips on what to discuss during a follow-up meeting, check out our article on second date conversation.

Keep It Chill

First dates can be a bit nerve-wracking, right? Knowing what to chat about can really set the vibe. Sticking to neutral topics keeps things smooth and avoids any awkward moments. Let’s talk about two safe bets: work and family.

Work and Career

Talking about work is usually a safe zone. It lets both of you share what you do every day without getting too personal or touchy. Plus, it can show what you’re passionate about without stepping on any toes.

Try asking:

• What do you do for work?
• How did you end up in your job?
• What’s the best part of your job?

These questions are easy-going and can help you find some common ground. For more ideas on what to ask, check out our article on first date conversation tips.

Family Background

Asking about family can be a nice way to get to know someone’s roots and values. Just keep it light and avoid digging into anything too deep.

You could ask:

• Got any siblings?
• Where did you grow up?
• Any fun family traditions?

These questions help you connect without getting too personal. And remember, steer clear of making any judgmental comments about their family. For more tips, check out our article on first date conversation tips.

By sticking to these chill topics, you can keep the conversation flowing and make your first date a hit. For more ideas on first date icebreakers and how to make a great first date impression, explore our related articles.

Gauge Compatibility

Future Goals

First dates can be nerve-wracking, but chatting about future goals can be a great icebreaker. It gives you a peek into your date’s dreams and ambitions. Plus, it helps you see if your long-term plans mesh. Just remember, no judgment—keep it light and positive.

Questions to ask:

• “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
• “Got any personal or work goals you’re chasing?”
• “Any dream travel spots on your list?”

These questions can spill the beans on what makes your date tick without prying too much. For more tips on first date conversation, check out our related article.

Life Values

Talking about life values is another solid way to see if you’re on the same wavelength. Values are the core beliefs that steer a person’s choices and actions. Finding common ground here can be a game-changer for any budding relationship. Steer clear of questions that might hit too close to home.

Questions to ask:

• “What principles do you hold dear?”
• “How do you measure success?”
• “What kind of lifestyle do you dream of?”

These questions get your date thinking about what really matters to them, helping you figure out if your values align. For more tips on first date questions, dive into our comprehensive guide.

Here’s a quick cheat sheet to help you spot good and bad first date questions:

Good Questions	Bad Questions
“What are your career aspirations?”	“How much do you earn?”
“What are your hobbies?”	“Why did your last relationship end?”
“Do you enjoy traveling?”	“Do you want kids?”

By focusing on future goals and life values, you can have meaningful chats that help you gauge compatibility without making your date squirm. For more advice on making a killer first impression, visit our section on first date impression.

Red Flags to Watch Out For on a First Date

First dates can be nerve-wracking, but keeping an eye out for certain red flags can help you have a good time and maybe even find a great connection. Here’s what to watch out for:

Judgmental Comments

If your date starts making snarky remarks about your appearance, clothes, job, or past, that’s a big no-no. It shows a lack of respect and empathy, which are super important for any relationship. Instead, keep things positive and neutral. Need some tips on keeping the convo upbeat? Check out our first date conversation tips.

Overly Personal Questions

Asking super personal questions, like about past relationships or sexual history, can make things awkward fast. It’s usually a sign of poor boundaries. Stick to fun and general topics to keep things light. For ideas on what to ask, see our guide on first date questions.

Topic	Example of Inappropriate Question
Past Relationships	“Why did your last relationship end?”
Sexual History	“How many people have you slept with?”
Personal Trauma	“Have you ever been in therapy?”

Sharing Past Traumas

Bringing up heavy stuff like past traumas too soon can kill the vibe. It’s better to build trust and get to know each other first. Focus on fun and positive topics. For more on making a great first impression, see our article on first date impression.

By steering clear of these red flags and keeping the conversation light and respectful, you’re more likely to have a fun and successful first date. For more dating tips, including how to prepare and break the ice, check out our sections on first date preparation and first date icebreakers.